Wednesday 13th of December 2017
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Why so much celebrity nudity in upcoming flicks?

Why so much celebrity nudity in upcoming flicks?

“The Shape of Water” has Sally Hawkins in full-frontal nudity. While filming, Doug Jones’ amphibious costume took an hour to rig, and it was Velcro that pinned in his motorized fins. As a result, peeing was a problem. I’m not going there, but I can tell you he was in the water a lot.

Also, director Guillermo del Toro personally schlepped cases of special $400-a-bottle Patrón tequila into his movie’s party. My colleague William McCuddy says boozers were appreciative. That included McCuddy.

Enough already with movie nudity. If I want to see a female naked, I can look in the mirror.

Also, in “Call Me by Your Name,” the real-life straight married dad Armie Hammer plays the reel-life happy lover of a young male. Both of these guys are also flapping around naked. He says his mother hasn’t yet sat through this film. He says she’s “too religious” to see him play gay. Enough with nakedness. Having already seen gents clothesless, I can actually remember the various parts.

In defense of baring it all…

Discovering stars without their drawers on, I uncovered: Kate Winslet once told the Mirror: “I’m an actress who absolutely believes in exposing myself. I like exposing myself.”

Demi Moore to Marie Claire: “Nudity’s beautiful. Male actors don’t show their bits as much as women on screen probably because their bits are ugly.”

Kate Hudson in InStyle: “I love nudity. I grew up in an open family. My mother always celebrated the female body. I have small breasts but never feel nude scenes are gratuitous.”

The Telegraph and Kristin Scott Thomas’: “I haven’t this Anglo-Saxon problem with nude scenes . . . there’s a sense of power when you’re stark naked and everyone else is cowering. It’s nothing to do with sex . . . It’s having the balls to do it.”

And Julianne Moore once said: “ ‘Short Cuts’ director Robert Altman wanted me bottomless. I said, ‘Of course I’ll take my pants off.’ The only way to become a serious actress is to take your clothes off.”

Ralph Fiennes: “For ‘Red Dragon,’ I was asked if I wanted clothing to protect my modesty. No. It’s ridiculous. Getting out of bed wearing underwear after sleeping with a girl is not realistic. Nudity’s no big deal to me.”

Bits & pieces

Showtime still hunting a chunky Roger Ailes type to portray the late Fox-TV Superman. Might even take several actors based on Gabriel Sherman’s dishy script, which starts during Ailes’ earlier younger, thinner days with daytime TV’s ’60s and ’70s “The Mike Douglas Show” . . .

When someone suggested our current sexual-assault revelations could provide more famous TV guests for Maury Povich’s ongoing yapathon, he laughed. Wife Connie Chung nodded “yes.”

Odds & ends

Oscar voters this year received table books for “Get Out,” “Blade Runner 2049” and “Okja.” The last one came with a pink stuffed pig. Grandkids can now expect that stuffed under their trees . . .

Aaron Sorkin’s “Molly’s Game,” starring Jessica Chastain, is about a woman who ran high-stakes hotel games for types like Tobey Maguire. Big-mouths are yapping it’s “too long; doesn’t need both New York and Los Angeles storylines.” I know from nothing. I haven’t seen it.


This small joke’s making the rounds: The executive who painted canvases for diversion asked an intern to pose for him in the nude, with: “It’s perfectly all right. Others have done it.” She answered: “Sorry, I’m not a model.” He said: “That’s OK. I’m not an artist.”

Only in New York, kids, only in New York.

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